Bacon the Law

The pursuit of greasy fried excellence is always an emotive journey. A case in point was the Kyrgystan sausage riots we reported on recently, however it seems that bacon, particularly the USA variety has stirred up passions to the point where violence has ensued.

Please use your bacon responsibly.

A Sheboygan man faces battery and disorderly conduct charges for throwing bacon at his mother….

The remorseless face of a bacon-thrower:

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Attempted strangulation over missing bacon:

Jan. 26

At 1:30 a.m., police were called to an assault off White Top Road, where a man trying to make a sandwich found “all of the bacon was gone but one piece.” When the 44-year-old confronted his brother, 37, about the missing pork, his sibling slapped him into a staircase, then tried to strangle him as he crawled away. Two additional family members intervened in the attack, but the suspect reportedly pushed them both down and made threats to kill his brother. Police observed injuries to the complainant and blood on the stairs, prompting the other man’s arrest.

Coralville man wields can of bacon and beans causing bludgeoning:

The somewhat remorseful-looking face of a bacon-bludgeoner:

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Tooled-up man with suspicious bacon caught in neighbour’s kennel:

The face of a man suspected of suspicious bacon:

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Man buys girl burger, missing bacon sparks attack

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If you have been affected by issues raised in any of these stories then get a grip of yourself, it was only meant to be lighthearted observation.

 

 

 

 

 

Adam Watkins AKA LIMBO

We featured a few of the obscenely brilliant works of LIMBO a short while ago.

A whole collection of beautiful, original, portraits of fried food will be available from noon tomorrow here – https://www.facebook.com/limbo1984/

Have a good high def look before you inevitably part with £30 a time here – http://www.boredpanda.com/breakfast-art-adam-watkins/

This is one of my absolute favourites….

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.. and here is my shoddy sketch if this wonderful work.

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Give Grease a Chance

Dr Fry regularly contributes to the Guardian newspaper’s ‘Witness’ section as part of his mission to drive up the standard of fried food. This week they are asking for toasted sandwich recipes, I have submitted this one here…

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Please visit the Guardian page and give Dr Fry a ‘recommend’ (it’s a similar to a ‘like’ but the Guardian always have to be a bit odd). The page is currently swamped with vegetarian and vegan toasted sandwiches, please help restore some balance and sanity.

https://witness.theguardian.com/assignment/569f7c2be4b07032e4cb26bc#contribute

Thank you.

 

Mrs Fry

Loves her fryups every now & again (she’s very specific about what she likes and how much of it, I even counted the beans, 300)  just banged this one up for her. She’s my harshest and most beautiful critic. Hope it was ok…..

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That went well!

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Corporate Hostility

A positive little tale of a giant corporate provider of fryups listening to their customers!

Back in July last year Premier Inn were plugging their new Purple Breakfast Sauce and I took the opportunity to challenge them on the quality and content of their fried breakfasts. Dr Fry is a long-term customer of Premier Inn and has had some lovely fryups over the years, but had noted that standards appeared to be slipping and popped onto their Facebook page to vent ire.

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Well it appears that some corporate giants do actually act on feedback from their customers, whilst it would be vain and foolish to take credit for changes they appear to have actioned, I can’t help but think that Dr Fry did his little bit to change their minds!

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What a difference! Here is their new breakfast menu, sounds lovely and represents excellent value when you consider that children get to eat free and their £8.99 unlimited fryup includes any or all of the continental selection for those so inclined.

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Well done Premier Inn, responding appropriately to customer feedback, both positive and negative, is one of the  hallmarks of a quality organisation.

Thanks to Jason Little from the notorious Fry Up Police for his mystery shopping!

Don’t Fry For Me Argentina

…or indeed any other international/domestic airport. When flying, it is not uncommon to find yourself trapped airside at an airport, bored and hungry, only to be tempted into treating yourself to a fryup. An ongoing study by Dr Fry has revealed that the fried food provided to captive audiences in airports is almost always substandard and more than often quite poor value. We looked briefly at fryups offered on aeroplanes in a previous post however the main focus of this study is what is being offered on the ground.

If you have a weak constitution or are planning to dine soon you may want to skip this article which contains some shocking images…

NB none of this selection included a beverage in the price, prices for foreign fryups are as reported at the time of the fry and quoted at the correct exchange-rate in force then.

Beijing – £10.00. This desperate interpretation of a fryup beggars belief.

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Birmingham – £8.95. Horrible lake of beans being poorly contained by ingredients warmed up on a griddle. Very poor form.

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Bristol – £11.00. Not too badly cooked (except for the raw tomato) and presented reasonably well, an awful lot of watery beans.

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Capetown – £3.00. All things considered not bad value and a reasonable bash at a fryup but still rather an unappetising start to a trip.

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Dublin – £9.00. Shoddy and expensive, no luck of the Irish here.

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Edinburgh – £9.60. A stab at a Full Scottish but very poorly executed. the Haggis looks vile.

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Gatwick South Terminal – £9.95 PLUS £2.35 for toast. This is truly lamentable, not even the lurid green light this was served under can mask the baked bacon and terrible value.

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Glasgow – £8.50. They took the Low Road. Not very appetising.

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Heathrow – £9.95. From the same stable as the previous Glasgow abomination but more expensive.

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Johannesburg – £1.37. Unbelievably low-priced, unbelievably horrible.

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Keflavic (Iceland) £11.36. Bork from the land of Björk.

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Knock – £8.00. A bit petite and a bit rubbish really.

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Leeds/Bradford – £11.50. Outrageous price for inedible tat.

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London City – £14.95. This is really quite offensive, even the square ramekin looks ashamed to be sharing a plate with barely cooked flotsam.

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Luton – £7.95. Not even slightly substantial but comparatively less expensive.

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Manchester – £8.95. A greaseless desolate nightmare.

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Melbourne – £12.00. the eggs don’t look to bad but I can’t help but wonder about the provenance of the sausage-shaped thing.

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Stanstead £12.95. throwing chives at a fryup does not enhance it one bit, even a  first-year student Veterinary Surgeon could make that bacon oink again.

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This not very scientific ongoing study has revealed that you should expect to pay about £4-£5 more per fryup in an airport compared to a cafe, that the majority of the components are not cooked from fresh and more often than not are poorly presented/made with low-quality ingredients. You should also factor in the much higher cost of beverages and the nonsense prices you will be expected to pay for additional items such as toast or condiments.

It is clear that travellers are being taken advantage of by the airport catering industry and until standards and value are dramatically improved, Dr Fry recommends that you either have a nice big fryup before you leave home or try to find a reputable establishment en-route.

If you would like to contribute your airport fryups to this study then please fee free to post them up (with a price please) on the Facebook page for Doctor Fry.

Please also take a few moments to have a look at this delightfully scathing review of a fryup on a plane from industry expert and mystery-shopper extraordinaire, The Fry Up Inspector. 

Thanks goes to the Fry Up Police for access to their picture archives for the above images as well as heartfelt gratitude and sympathy to all the fryup enthusiasts who contributed to this study.

The Fryup Art of Adam Watkins

Adam Watkins, also known as “LIMBO” is a talented illustrator and notorious graffiti artist who has been producing some stunning images featuring fryup ingredients. Here are just a few of his recent works:

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Dr Fry understands that original images like these can be purchased from Adam at a very reasonable price and that he also takes commissions.

You can contact Adam through his Facebook page where you can see some of his other works, please mention “Dr Fry” to receive a generous 0% discount.

Whatever you do though, don’t describe his style as “modern anthropomorphic caricature”….