Staffordshire Oatcake

They are like huge, delicious, thin, soft crumpets. Only widely available in Staffordshire or Derbyshire (where it is traditional to have them smothered in grilled cheese and wrapped around some bacon or sausages, or both!). I can’t rate them highly enough as the bready component of a fryup, they are absolutely gorgeous.

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I wasn’t in the mood for a huge fryup tonight but for the record this was – Edwards of Conwy dry-cured streaky bacon, Forestiere mushrooms, Bury white pudding, Old Cotswold Legbar egg, Sainsbos lamb, rosemary & garlic chipolatas, a lovely Edwards of Conwy best pork banger, Branston beans and of course two astounding Staffordshire oatcakes.

Staffordshire Oatcake

 

 

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Caught by the Fuzz

Chief Constable at the Fry Up Police, “Lurky”, has plenty to say about the fryups from the 30,000+ followers of the notorious facebook group, but today he threw caution to the wind and we are privileged to see a fryup of his own!

Using classy meats from the top East England butchers Archers

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..he created this lovely fryup!

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I have absolutely no doubt that some sad cases will vilify him for –

  • The shape and design of the rather lovely Willow-Pattern china
  • The crispiness of the bacons
  • The attractive cubist thing which is going on with the toast in the toastrack
  • Owning a toastrack
  • Any sauce other than HP or Heinz
  • The jaunty angle of his shot
  • The brand of beer he is drinking based on the glass (it’s actually homebrew)

Reactions like this are usually motivated by infantile jealousy and envy, top frying Lurky! When he posts this up on the FUP please join me in a game of fryup bingo to see how many of the above seven bullet-points you can spot in the comments. Go to our FB page and shout “House” in the guest comments bit when you’ve a full set.

Marcus Bawdon

This is quite the most lovely looking fry I have seen in ages. Kudos to Marcus for i) making an absolutely beautiful fry ii)  exquisite photography iii) having the balls to eat it outdoors in this parky weather.

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That bacon looks amazing.

 

Dish of the Week

Dr Fry occasionally helps out on the pages of the rather lovely Fry Up Criminals food group. They have a dish of the week competition which is usually hosted by the notorious Dave T, however he’s piloting his private jet somewhere tonight so I have volunteered to step in.

So here is the cream of the crop of the efforts of the talented and attractive members of the Fry Up Criminals community dishes over the past week…

Each dish is numbered above the delicious creation, please vote in the thread on the FB page for your favourite one this week!

1

Mansha

2

bobby hardy

3

yrag

4

em hudson

5

rickjones

6

emma jones

7

steve heyes

8

rohit

9

dennis dadey

10

nickminton

11

jason ramalingum

12

Mark Cini

13

charlotte carey

14

carlredman

 

15

angela

Thank you xxx

 

 

‘What you reading for?…’

The Reader  is an organisation which encourages people to read by providing opportunities to access books and places to have social intercourse. A lot of what they do involves working with people suffering from Dementia and other mental health issues, offenders, children and other communities with low literacy levels or where raising social capital levels can have a positive impact on the health and wellbeing.

They also run a cafe which has an all day English Breakfast on the menu. So armed with the youngest of the Fry household (it’s half-term, the cafe is in the middle of quite a lovely park with a superb playground) we fed the ducks, watched Fry Jnr do the big slide several dozen times, had a nice long walk through the gardens and broke for refreshments at the Reader Cafe, Calderstones Park, Liverpool.

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Doesn’t look like much from the outside but it’s attached to a listed mansion-house so I guess there are restrictions. There are tables outside but it was brass monkeys weather so we headed in.

It was fairly busy inside, very dog and child-friendly so there were lots of pooches and tiny people about. The staff got through the queue really quickly and we didn’t wait too long for our food, (which sometimes isn’t the  best sign of a promising fryup). Fry Jnr got straight into the whole reading experience and swiped an alphabet sticker book and a copy of George Orwell’s Animal farm off the bookshelves for me to read to her. A page and a half later her refreshments appeared.

Fry Jnr went for a chocolate orange cupcake and she seemed to be quite happy with the whole experience.

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My meal then appeared out of the kitchen, got served to the wrong person, but eventually found its way to our table.

I am finding it difficult to express how disappointed I was through the medium of words so here is a picture.

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£5.50 with a quite nice mug of tea.

The egg was cooked perfectly, then drowned with overly-saucy beans. The toast was pale and tiny. The sausages were good quality but had been fried and then kept warm. One end of both of them were hard and nasty. The bacon was really tasty but again kept warm and the fat had not crisped up. I can honestly say I was hungrier after this ‘fryup’ than I was when I walked in.

If this had been cooked and presented better, had half a fried tomato and a few mushrooms and thicker or bigger bread then it would have been a really nice English Breakfast and very good value.

The Reader Organisation, Dr Fry would like to volunteer for you. Just for a few hours on a quiet day, to allow me to provide examples to your lovely back of house catering people what could be done with your existing (and a couple of extra) ingredients as well as having a look at your processes with a view to improving overall quality and sales whilst retaining or improving your margin. 

Don’t let a poor fryup influence your opinion of the brilliant work this organisation does. I am surprised and delighted that innovative work like this is still commissioned given the bleak background of public funding which is currently available. You do fantastic work in sometimes ignored communities, but your fryups are awful.

I will leave it to the late great Bill Hicks to have a final word on why we should all read more (he’s a bit sweary sometimes)

Slate me

For a bit of fun, wondered about why people eat food off roof tiles, there’s a lot of it about. So here is my food on a slate fryup effort. I will be sticking to bone china in future.

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Shardenfreude

Ross Taylor, self-made playboy billionaire tucked into this £38 breakfast at that London’s iconic Shard building this morning.

ross

Earlier, I had some correspondence with Ross, he told me “it tasted amazing, a bloody damn sight better than the crap bacon butty I got in the helicopter on my way back to the castle”

You’ve got to give the caterers some credit for keeping this feast below the £40 mark and give them a spank for the stray bit of flat leaf parsley placed upside-down.

 

 

There’s ‘food porn’… and then there is THIS!

Stuart Barnes of the infamous Fry Up Criminals hasn’t only just banged out a gorgeous-looking fryup, his backdrop of cheesy 80s jazz mags takes the whole concept of ‘food porn’ to a whole new greasy level.

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Stuart would like to point out that the vintage collectible gentlemen’s magazines shown here will be available on his ebay shop as soon as he has prised all the pages apart.

Just in case you thought this fryup couldn’t get any sexier, the items on the left of the plate are black and white pudding pinwheels stuffed with haggis in the centre. These are lovingly prepared by Master Butcher David Lamb at his magnificent meat-emporium in Leyland, Lancashire.