Tuck Shop

Dr Fry has secret operatives all around the world keeping him abreast of greasy local issues and initiatives. One such Special Agent, Katherine Tuck, was sent on a field operation to the beautiful Isle of Skye, on a mission to investigate the quality of local fryup produce.

Actually she staying near Portree on holiday but was kind enough to send me some pictures to share amongst you beautiful grease-enthusiasts. After a tip-off from a local she was directed to a portakabin which didn’t look to promising to be fair.

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However once inside she was delighted to be looked after by the very friendly butcher who had some lovely-looking goodies on his counter.

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He must have thought Katherine was quite mad coming in taking pictures of him cutting bacon – “you’ll never believe what happened in the shop today love, some strange lass was taking photographs of me, *chokes with laughter* cutting bacon!”

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Here’s another shot of him at work, Not often you see someone hand-slicing bacon, I’m assured it was thick, even and delicious.

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Katherine’s haul included hand-made sausages, the bacon, black pudding, haggis, fruit pudding and Lorne sausage. I’ve not had fruit pudding on a fryup for years, so it’s gone on my list to review.

Here’s the absolutely gorgeous fryup that Katherine banged out at the end of her mission, she said the meats and puddings were  top-quality and tasted fantastic.

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Mission accomplished Special Agent Tuck, thanks for the pics!

 

 

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Lee Palmer

Lee Palmer, a follower of the Dr Fry Facebook page, recently sent me this lovely looking fryup in the comments section of the page.

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A gorgeous thing to behold. I initially thought it was another piece of his work that I’d seen on the pages of the notorious Fry Up Police, which I think deserves a big shout due to how it was prepared.

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“A Fryup with a secret….home made hash browns, free range eggs, butchers bacon, 80% pork sausages, fried bread, toast, beans and black pudding.

The secret is…… It’s slimming world friendly. My Wife and I are on a diet so thought I would have a bash at making a healthier fryup. All cooked in 1Cal spray, bacon fat trimmed off, sausages are weight watchers, reduced sugar beans, nimble wholemeal bread, and lighter than light spread.”

I’m not sure which one I would smash first, they both look beautiful but you have to admire Lee’s mad skills with the 1-Cal spray. Some time ago I joined Mrs Dr Fry for 9 months on her Slimming World diet and the fryup (as well as the Moussaka) was the best thing about it. 1-Cal spray is quite difficult to get used to using, it burns very easily, you have to patiently cook a lot more slowly, be more attentive and you really need a good nonstick pan for best results. A local butcher makes rather tasty ‘syn free’ sausages so that was easy for me. Eggs are a bugger to master but Lee did a cheffy trick and flashed them under a grill to finish them off superbly here. Bacon has to have as much of the fat trimmed off as possible (good excuse for an extra rasher), low fat/salt beans are ok, the Heinz/Weight Watchers ones are far better than cheap brands of normal beans. Lee has even cut the crusts off his Nimble bread, probably to make up for the fact he’s sneaked in some black pudding which isn’t strictly part of the diet!

Absolutely top frying Lee, knocks spots off my last effort at a lower fat fry. I might give it another bash soon though!

 

 

Two Gorgeous Fries

I’ve seen some astonishingly good fries popping up in my newsfeed today however I feel compelled to highlight these two. Both from the notorious Fry Up Police fb page, both completely different in their approach to greasy excellence.

Peggy Golec

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Ben Hesketh

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Fanatical militant fryup types would probably be outraged by the lack of core ingredients present however I find both of these fries rather captivating in different ways.

Vive le Fry

 

 

 

 

Caught by the Fuzz

Chief Constable at the Fry Up Police, “Lurky”, has plenty to say about the fryups from the 30,000+ followers of the notorious facebook group, but today he threw caution to the wind and we are privileged to see a fryup of his own!

Using classy meats from the top East England butchers Archers

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..he created this lovely fryup!

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I have absolutely no doubt that some sad cases will vilify him for –

  • The shape and design of the rather lovely Willow-Pattern china
  • The crispiness of the bacons
  • The attractive cubist thing which is going on with the toast in the toastrack
  • Owning a toastrack
  • Any sauce other than HP or Heinz
  • The jaunty angle of his shot
  • The brand of beer he is drinking based on the glass (it’s actually homebrew)

Reactions like this are usually motivated by infantile jealousy and envy, top frying Lurky! When he posts this up on the FUP please join me in a game of fryup bingo to see how many of the above seven bullet-points you can spot in the comments. Go to our FB page and shout “House” in the guest comments bit when you’ve a full set.

Marcus Bawdon

This is quite the most lovely looking fry I have seen in ages. Kudos to Marcus for i) making an absolutely beautiful fry ii)  exquisite photography iii) having the balls to eat it outdoors in this parky weather.

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That bacon looks amazing.

 

There’s ‘food porn’… and then there is THIS!

Stuart Barnes of the infamous Fry Up Criminals hasn’t only just banged out a gorgeous-looking fryup, his backdrop of cheesy 80s jazz mags takes the whole concept of ‘food porn’ to a whole new greasy level.

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Stuart would like to point out that the vintage collectible gentlemen’s magazines shown here will be available on his ebay shop as soon as he has prised all the pages apart.

Just in case you thought this fryup couldn’t get any sexier, the items on the left of the plate are black and white pudding pinwheels stuffed with haggis in the centre. These are lovingly prepared by Master Butcher David Lamb at his magnificent meat-emporium in Leyland, Lancashire.

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This gorgeous little fry comes all the way from México  courtesy of Haydn Judas Rawlinson, professional giant and pinball wizard.

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Doctor Fry appraises a fair amount of fryups from the Continent and beyond. It is often difficult for enthusiasts to source authentic ingredients but this one’s quite lovely, if a little over-generous with the bean-juice. I understand there is some gorgeous fried bread under the eggs. Chapeau HJR.

Ben

For today’s post, I have a story.

This is a tale of tough love, of perseverance, of struggle against authority, of brutal peer pressure, of overcoming fear and doubt, of banishment, humility and redemption. Of treachery and victory. All played out against a background of delicious plates of fried food. Sit back, relax and enjoy a man called Ben’s filthy greasy journey, one fryup at a time……..

~~~~~~wavy lines~~~~~~

…… I think it was early last November that Ben Hesketh first appeared on my Frydar with this shoddy fryup which was absolutely ripped to threads on the notorious Fry Up Police’s Facebook page. Chopped up sausages Ben, to be fair you deserved all the abuse you got for this. Basically beans and things on toast. Quite awful.

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He tried again.

Whole sausages this time, home made hash browns, however shoddy eggs and a poor bean game let this down. Still an improvement on his previous effort. Generally better received but only really a small selection of fried fodder and justifiable abuse continued.

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And again.

The pressure was starting to get to Ben, people were mocking his lack of black pudding, mushrooms and tomatoes, at least his beans weren’t touching his eggs this time but that wasn’t enough to prevent another savage kicking.

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Yet again!

Insecurity and self doubt was staring to show on his next one, a third of this is toast but suddenly it’s staring to look a bit organised and Ben’s 4th fryup had great eggs. He still got hammered on the page. Some people would give up at this point but some people aren’t Ben Hesketh.

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Encore un fois.

Undeterred, Ben stubbornly ploughed on and suddenly produced this little beauty with two types of bacon (a feature of all of his later fryups) great eggs and proud beans. This was Ben’s epiphany, people started to take notice and make begrudgingly positive comments. It was a paradigm shift in his approach to fryups, Ben was on a roll.

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And then disaster.

An offhand comment broke a strict community rule and he was cast out into the wilderness and had to rely on the good nature and forgiveness of the senior FUP management for reinstatement. For his crimes a public apology was called for.

Dr Fry feels for you Ben, he has been there. But Ben being the good sport he is took the comedy selfie pic (a standard condition of reinstatement in this group), posted it up and weathered the necessary abuse and ritual humiliation on the chin (from what we can see of it).

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A tidy comeback ensued, the crowd didn’t like his eggs but Ben was on a mission of self improvement fuelled by the hate and anger of some of the harshest critics in the Fyosphere.

(Someone actually described this as having been made “with about as much care and compassion as a death row prisoner’s last f****ng meal).

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His next one was a beauty. Black pudding, potato-cake. Ben had been to Waitrose, he had plundered his mother in-law’s henhouse,  he applied some Fibonacci Spiral thinking to the layout and banged out this very, very good fryup on New year’s day.

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This is where Ben took his biggest gamble yet. On the third of January another lovely Hesketh fryup appeared…. it looked familiar….

(Dr Fry has developed a photographic memory for fryups and this one rang a bell. A huge loud clangy one).

Risking everything in this manner is like wrapping your bollocks in bacon and confidently popping them into a ravenous a lion’s mouth as far as blatantly re-posting the same fryup on the Fry Up Police’s manor goes.

Unbelievably almost absolutely nobody noticed this cheeky act of dissent and the slightly better picture quality  from a slightly different angle drew plenty of plaudits.

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Before the final picture may I suggest that you have this inspirational melody playing in the background to enhance your online experience…

Today Ben banged out a very strong, beautiful fryup, the antithesis of the choppy up sausage disgrace of barely a few months ago. Chapeau Ben. Your journey is complete.

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Still tomato-shy but to be fair he doesn’t like them, haggis, beautiful eggs, plated up nicely and cooked perfectly, a mini-masterpiece.

Ben Hesketh’s fryography ladies and gentlemen, a fryup hero.

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Edit –  Since this article was written Ben has been entered into the Fry Up Police Hall of Fame with this stunning fry!

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We All Love a Full English Breakfast

There’s a smashing open group called ‘We All Love a Full English Breakfast‘ on Facebook, everyone seems polite & cheerful, quite a tolerant place when it comes to variations of the standard ingredients for a fryup and some really talented greasy food enthusiasts posting there.

These images are some of my favourites from the page, all I think made by members rather than being purchased from an establishment, I trust Mr Grub who runs the place will correct me if I miscredit any of these stunning plates of loveliness  –

This first one, a beautiful fry from Steve Cyprus –

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A rather ‘Instagrammed’ picture but a lovely dish from Gareth Parks

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Mick Thompson’s wonderful Winter scene

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Another solid Mick Thompson

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Matt Peabody’s gorgeous fryup

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And in case you’re wondering about Mr Grub, he’s a lovely fellow who really likes his fryups but has been under doctor’s orders to behave himself recently so he’s lost a little weight since this pic of him

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Please go and have a look at the group, say hello, post a fryup or just join in with the lively and friendly discussion.

 

Box Clever

Most fryup enthusiasts will at some point have had a takeaway fryup in a box from a cafe or even been tempted to try the aeronautical equivalent i.e. a boxed fryup on a plane. The expectation of having  a self-contained portable greasy feast is almost never met though. Factors such as cheap ingredients, poor placement of items and bad cooking are often the culprits and the inevitable disappointing soggy mess is a huge let-down to fans of a good fryup.

To try to understand the whole culture of boxed fryups better,  we undertook a raft of important research which included seeing just how hard it is to successfully execute a decent fryup in a polystyrene container. First though it was necessary to find a baseline, which led us to look at some truly dreadful examples of culinary slop.

If you have a weak constitution or have previously been traumatised by a boxed fryup then please continue to the next article.

This is a fairly representative cross-section of what to expect –

Unbelievably this one was recently offered as an incentive/reward to NHS staff working over Christmas and New Year in an East-Anglian hospital…

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Whilst these abominations have all been served to jet aeroplane passengers….

 

So exactly how hard is it to improve on these appalling examples?

Not very as it turns out. By using decent quality ingredients, cooking them properly, placing them in the box in sensible proportions with some consideration as to product cross-contamination we came up with this delicious and attractive boxed fryup, the toast and fried bread would obviously need to be packaged in a paper bag within the lid for effective transport however this looked so good it was smashed straight away by our research and development team.

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Cafes, hospital trusts and airline caterers please take note, you are failing your customers, it’s not that difficult to do, it just takes a little bit of care and attention.

Images except the final one are courtesy of Fry Up Police constables and Chris Wilko on Instagram to whom we all owe a debt of gratitude for their sacrifices in helping with this important and valuable research.