It’s all kicked off in Paignton!

You may have read before on this blog about extreme emotional and occasionally psychotic effects that sausages can have on the behaviour of some people. A butcher in Paignton has recently galvanised local vegans into direct action to protest about his purple sausages. You can’t make this stuff up!

prince

Read more here from the Herald Express.

I might give this a go, it will sit nicely with the rainbow bacon I’ve been planning!

Class War

I had quite a busy day away from my practice today and came home to find that there had been an almighty disagreement between some organisations who purport to exist to drive up standards in food. The conflict started with a public statement by the head of one of the big-hitters in the British Fryosphere who, to put it in a nutshell, called all fryups “shit” and cheap and went on to question the competence, literacy and intelligence of anyone who disagreed with this conjecture; then went on to dogmatically state the only true representation of an English Breakfast should hark back to some pre-Victorian time when breakfasts enjoyed by the elite are the way to go and that promoting excellence and some control and restraint in preserving the integrity of fryups was a lost cause and one which shouldn’t be promoted in the national press.

I think there was a justifiable reaction by groups and individuals to whom this was aimed I would have been surprised if there wasn’t and I am sure that this was exactly the reaction which was begged by the author of the original statement. From what I caught between dispatches the whole thing became quite volatile. Which again I feel was part of the purpose of the original statement.

My own take on this, for what it is worth is this. Those with a common aim to raise the standards of the food which this nation consumes should be applauded for their efforts. Those who choose to try to promote their own agenda through manipulating undignified conflict are being counter-productive and are complicit in increasing the divide between those who have and have not.

No matter how well you prepare one, a fryup is something which can be enjoyed by prince and pauper. Yes there is a long history of those who are better-off enjoying some amazing meaty combinations of the best which their country estates have to offer them for breakfast, yes this is part of our heritage and should and must be recorded for posterity, but this is 2016. A time of bleak austerity for the majority of the 60+ million people who inhabit our isles and for whom, very often, a fryup is a real and rare treat for a struggling family.

I’ve never eaten a mixed-grill which has met my expectations (for this is all that an ultra-‘traditional’ Anglo-Saxon/Victoriana breakfast is) but I have eaten and seen many fryups which have provided more than affordable joy.

I must therefore kindly thank the Society for admitting me as a Fellow but not very regretfully withdraw from their fold with immediate effect. I would also remind any f*cker who tries to pass off my work as theirs that I know, or can very easily find out where you live and that I do not tolerate fools easily x.

I called this post “Class War” because I feel that this is at the heart of the disagreement. More and better for the few who can, trying to ride roughshod over the many who struggle on a daily basis to exist. It’s 2016. Those who deferred to the ‘upper’ classes are literally a dying breed and the daily revelations of the dark and dirty personal financial affairs of those trusted to a position of authority are gradually helping to reduce the dreadful syndrome of embourgeoisement which has haunted us since the mid-1970s.

Please don’t ever feel that your fryup isn’t worthy compared to something with marrowbone, kidneys, a pig’s head or whatever, be proud of your right to fry and your right to be proud of your own achievements.

If you’ve actually read this far then I think you really deserve something for your efforts so here’s a picture of something.

ron

This one’s by Aaron Gartside, his fries rock.

 

 

 

 

Shardenfreude

Ross Taylor, self-made playboy billionaire tucked into this £38 breakfast at that London’s iconic Shard building this morning.

ross

Earlier, I had some correspondence with Ross, he told me “it tasted amazing, a bloody damn sight better than the crap bacon butty I got in the helicopter on my way back to the castle”

You’ve got to give the caterers some credit for keeping this feast below the £40 mark and give them a spank for the stray bit of flat leaf parsley placed upside-down.

 

 

Floating Sausages and Sergey Tyukanov

It has come to Dr Fry’s attention that a painting by Hieronymus Bosch has recently turned up in the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City, Missouri. One of the clues that led art historians to believe that it was the work of the Dutch Master was the inclusion of a floating sausage, a theme which has featured in some of his other works.

bosch sausage

Whilst having a gentle research into Bosch floating sausages, as you do, I was delighted to stumble across the beautiful works of Sergey Tyukanov. In particular the following three paintings which feature as their theme nightmarish scenes involving one of the nation’s favourite and must-have fryup components.

Uprising of the Sausages and Hotdogs

Sergey Tyukanov uprising of the sausages and hotdogs

Battle With Sausages I

Sergey Tyukanov battle with saysages I

Battle With Sausages II

Sergey Tyukanov battle with saysages II

“I was born on the island Sakhalin, in a small town Poronaisk, situated on the coast of the Pacific Ocean. My childhood years passed far away from the so-called “civilization” and the only window to the reality that I had were children’s’ illustrated books. They became my fairy tale world which, although I have grown up, I do not want to depart with even today. The world of brushes, pencils, watercolors and miscellaneous bottles with inks and paints, which I endlessly love, have become for me a theatre, where I organize everything in my specific order and create a spectacle to amuse myself. In this theatre I am the director, the actor and the viewer at the same time.”

He clearly loves his sausages too. Have a peek at his brilliantly presented website to check out more of his stunning works. – http://www.tyukanov.com/

Don’t have nightmares!

 

Bacon the Law

The pursuit of greasy fried excellence is always an emotive journey. A case in point was the Kyrgystan sausage riots we reported on recently, however it seems that bacon, particularly the USA variety has stirred up passions to the point where violence has ensued.

Please use your bacon responsibly.

A Sheboygan man faces battery and disorderly conduct charges for throwing bacon at his mother….

The remorseless face of a bacon-thrower:

bac1

 

Attempted strangulation over missing bacon:

Jan. 26

At 1:30 a.m., police were called to an assault off White Top Road, where a man trying to make a sandwich found “all of the bacon was gone but one piece.” When the 44-year-old confronted his brother, 37, about the missing pork, his sibling slapped him into a staircase, then tried to strangle him as he crawled away. Two additional family members intervened in the attack, but the suspect reportedly pushed them both down and made threats to kill his brother. Police observed injuries to the complainant and blood on the stairs, prompting the other man’s arrest.

Coralville man wields can of bacon and beans causing bludgeoning:

The somewhat remorseful-looking face of a bacon-bludgeoner:

bac2

 

Tooled-up man with suspicious bacon caught in neighbour’s kennel:

The face of a man suspected of suspicious bacon:

bac3

 

Man buys girl burger, missing bacon sparks attack

bac3

If you have been affected by issues raised in any of these stories then get a grip of yourself, it was only meant to be lighthearted observation.

 

 

 

 

 

Adam Watkins AKA LIMBO

We featured a few of the obscenely brilliant works of LIMBO a short while ago.

A whole collection of beautiful, original, portraits of fried food will be available from noon tomorrow here – https://www.facebook.com/limbo1984/

Have a good high def look before you inevitably part with £30 a time here – http://www.boredpanda.com/breakfast-art-adam-watkins/

This is one of my absolute favourites….

adam

.. and here is my shoddy sketch if this wonderful work.

adamfry

Corporate Hostility

A positive little tale of a giant corporate provider of fryups listening to their customers!

Back in July last year Premier Inn were plugging their new Purple Breakfast Sauce and I took the opportunity to challenge them on the quality and content of their fried breakfasts. Dr Fry is a long-term customer of Premier Inn and has had some lovely fryups over the years, but had noted that standards appeared to be slipping and popped onto their Facebook page to vent ire.

Screenshot 2016-01-20 11.38.31Screenshot 2016-01-20 11.38.41

Screenshot 2016-01-20 11.38.57

Well it appears that some corporate giants do actually act on feedback from their customers, whilst it would be vain and foolish to take credit for changes they appear to have actioned, I can’t help but think that Dr Fry did his little bit to change their minds!

Screenshot 2016-01-20 12.50.56

What a difference! Here is their new breakfast menu, sounds lovely and represents excellent value when you consider that children get to eat free and their £8.99 unlimited fryup includes any or all of the continental selection for those so inclined.

Screenshot 2016-01-20 12.53.05

Well done Premier Inn, responding appropriately to customer feedback, both positive and negative, is one of the  hallmarks of a quality organisation.

Thanks to Jason Little from the notorious Fry Up Police for his mystery shopping!

Sausage Passion Runs High

Be careful what you say about another man’s sausage, in some parts of the world people love their sausage so much they can react very strongly to criticism.

When Michael McFeat posted this on Facebook, he probably didn’t realise that he would be chased out of Kyrgyzstan by a lynch mob!

 

A Scottish welding supervisor who was arrested under racial hatred laws for comparing a type of Kyrgyz sausage to horse penis has told of his recent escape from Kyrgyzstan.

Michael Mcfeat, an employee of Centerra Gold at the Kumtor Gold Mine, said he had to flee for his life from the central Asian country after a mob tried to run his vehicle off the road.

Full story courtesy of “Australian Mining” here.

 

Best British Breakfast Awards 2016

 

The Best British Breakfast Awards have been hosted annually by The Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board. Nominations and voting often happens around now so Dr Fry contacted AHDB as he had several establishments in mind to nominate for the 2016 awards, however the organisers revealed today during correspondence with Dr Fry that there will be no competition this year. I understand that this decision was made as a result of budget restriction issues.

This is rather sad news, the competition was extremely popular and did a lot of good work promoting higher standards within the breakfast catering sector.

Nature abhors a vacuum therefore I will be accepting nominations on the Doctor Fry Facebook Page for which of YOUR favourite breakfast establishment OR home-made fryups should win a “Doctor Fry Award for Greasy Excellence – 2016”. Pop them on the ‘visitor post’ section or in response to this article which will be posted there until I make a dedicated area of the page.

Could you please include a picture of the fryup and a brief (less than 50 words) description, perhaps why you think the place/fryup’s a winner or what made you feel good about it.

Rather than this being a numbers game (often competitions like this are more about who can manipulate social media best as opposed to the standard of the food) I will be taking a qualitative rather than quantitative approach to judging, each of your mini reviews will be posted on a page on this blog, there may even not be one main award, rather a series of awards such as ‘best service’, ‘social conscience’, ‘value’ etc, so please feel free to nominate for whatever reason you wish.

I will run this probably until March.

Try to avoid anywhere that puts food in bread hats please, they definitely won’t be in with a shout.

bread hat

(picture credit AHDB)

 

Useless Junk – The Lakeland “Master-Pan”

Celebrity product endorsements are almost always a vehicle to sell something rubbish to someone gullible.

I was therefore not disappointed when national treasure Tom Daley (he gets paid to jump off things) was seen promoting Lakeland’s £59.99 ‘Master-Pan‘ this week.

daly

 

What a truly dreadful idea. Difficult to clean, difficult to use, difficult to store, difficult to see why anyone would be using this more than once before archiving it in the cupboard next to the sandwich-maker and garlic-juicer.

I loved this article about the pan by  writing for The Guardian, I think he got it spot on plus his parody pic is excellent.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jan/06/tom-daley-frying-pan-master-pan

tom2

Don’t be mugged off into spending almost £60 on something inferior to a couple of decent frying pans.