Class War

I had quite a busy day away from my practice today and came home to find that there had been an almighty disagreement between some organisations who purport to exist to drive up standards in food. The conflict started with a public statement by the head of one of the big-hitters in the British Fryosphere who, to put it in a nutshell, called all fryups “shit” and cheap and went on to question the competence, literacy and intelligence of anyone who disagreed with this conjecture; then went on to dogmatically state the only true representation of an English Breakfast should hark back to some pre-Victorian time when breakfasts enjoyed by the elite are the way to go and that promoting excellence and some control and restraint in preserving the integrity of fryups was a lost cause and one which shouldn’t be promoted in the national press.

I think there was a justifiable reaction by groups and individuals to whom this was aimed I would have been surprised if there wasn’t and I am sure that this was exactly the reaction which was begged by the author of the original statement. From what I caught between dispatches the whole thing became quite volatile. Which again I feel was part of the purpose of the original statement.

My own take on this, for what it is worth is this. Those with a common aim to raise the standards of the food which this nation consumes should be applauded for their efforts. Those who choose to try to promote their own agenda through manipulating undignified conflict are being counter-productive and are complicit in increasing the divide between those who have and have not.

No matter how well you prepare one, a fryup is something which can be enjoyed by prince and pauper. Yes there is a long history of those who are better-off enjoying some amazing meaty combinations of the best which their country estates have to offer them for breakfast, yes this is part of our heritage and should and must be recorded for posterity, but this is 2016. A time of bleak austerity for the majority of the 60+ million people who inhabit our isles and for whom, very often, a fryup is a real and rare treat for a struggling family.

I’ve never eaten a mixed-grill which has met my expectations (for this is all that an ultra-‘traditional’ Anglo-Saxon/Victoriana breakfast is) but I have eaten and seen many fryups which have provided more than affordable joy.

I must therefore kindly thank the Society for admitting me as a Fellow but not very regretfully withdraw from their fold with immediate effect. I would also remind any f*cker who tries to pass off my work as theirs that I know, or can very easily find out where you live and that I do not tolerate fools easily x.

I called this post “Class War” because I feel that this is at the heart of the disagreement. More and better for the few who can, trying to ride roughshod over the many who struggle on a daily basis to exist. It’s 2016. Those who deferred to the ‘upper’ classes are literally a dying breed and the daily revelations of the dark and dirty personal financial affairs of those trusted to a position of authority are gradually helping to reduce the dreadful syndrome of embourgeoisement which has haunted us since the mid-1970s.

Please don’t ever feel that your fryup isn’t worthy compared to something with marrowbone, kidneys, a pig’s head or whatever, be proud of your right to fry and your right to be proud of your own achievements.

If you’ve actually read this far then I think you really deserve something for your efforts so here’s a picture of something.

ron

This one’s by Aaron Gartside, his fries rock.

 

 

 

 

Corporate Hostility

A positive little tale of a giant corporate provider of fryups listening to their customers!

Back in July last year Premier Inn were plugging their new Purple Breakfast Sauce and I took the opportunity to challenge them on the quality and content of their fried breakfasts. Dr Fry is a long-term customer of Premier Inn and has had some lovely fryups over the years, but had noted that standards appeared to be slipping and popped onto their Facebook page to vent ire.

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Well it appears that some corporate giants do actually act on feedback from their customers, whilst it would be vain and foolish to take credit for changes they appear to have actioned, I can’t help but think that Dr Fry did his little bit to change their minds!

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What a difference! Here is their new breakfast menu, sounds lovely and represents excellent value when you consider that children get to eat free and their £8.99 unlimited fryup includes any or all of the continental selection for those so inclined.

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Well done Premier Inn, responding appropriately to customer feedback, both positive and negative, is one of the  hallmarks of a quality organisation.

Thanks to Jason Little from the notorious Fry Up Police for his mystery shopping!

Useless Junk – The Lakeland “Master-Pan”

Celebrity product endorsements are almost always a vehicle to sell something rubbish to someone gullible.

I was therefore not disappointed when national treasure Tom Daley (he gets paid to jump off things) was seen promoting Lakeland’s £59.99 ‘Master-Pan‘ this week.

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What a truly dreadful idea. Difficult to clean, difficult to use, difficult to store, difficult to see why anyone would be using this more than once before archiving it in the cupboard next to the sandwich-maker and garlic-juicer.

I loved this article about the pan by  writing for The Guardian, I think he got it spot on plus his parody pic is excellent.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jan/06/tom-daley-frying-pan-master-pan

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Don’t be mugged off into spending almost £60 on something inferior to a couple of decent frying pans.

Black Pudding, Superfood?

One cannot have helped but notice stories being splashed around the popular and quality press this week claiming that new “research” has revealed that black pudding is a “superfood”.

Dr Fry would like to set the record straight:

  • There is no such thing as a “superfood” it is a nonsense term fabricated by marketeers
  • There is no authoritative source for the “research” because there was no research. True research is supported by evidence, conducted ethically by professional accredited organisations, endorsed by academic institutions and reported and referenced accurately. This is merely a shoddy piece of cheap journalism being used as a device to sell ‘musclefood’ (another nonsense term), sell newspaper copy and bait the unwary into clicking at worthless tat online

Here is a lovely picture of some beautiful, delicious black pudding, by all means celebrate this marvelous fryup ingredient but please don’t for one moment believe it will make you bigger, faster, stronger, more intelligent, hipper, slimmer, more handsome or beautiful or live any longer.

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Kashmira Gander writing for The Independent has written this very excellent article which is well worth 5 minutes of your time to digest.

That is all.

Political Fryups II

Keen followers of this humble blog may remember this post from June just after the British General Election where strong political viewpoints were expressed through the medium of lovely fried food.

Dr Fry is intrigued as to the capacity of a fryup to be used as an influencing and lobbying tool, here are a couple of recent efforts where my ire was raised and I felt the need to vent it via a nice big fryup.

For the first, the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne released his Autumn Statement today where he merrily handed out little gifts from behind the Treasury sofa like a mean and pathetic plastic St Nicholas whilst quietly slashing budgets for absolutely necessary government services like DEFRA (-15%)

Well George, here’s Dr Fry’s Autumn Statement, I sincerely hope you choke on it you sad excuse for a politician.

osborne

For the second, Dr Fry was positively outraged by the content and shoddy media representation of the recent World Health Organisation report which claimed that too much meat is bad for you. This is extremely old news, as a Doctor I can tell you that too much of anything is bad for you and WHO failed to make an accurate and plain distinction between cured sausages and lovely fresh ones which confused the public and gave click-bait journalism another excuse to treat its readers like toddling infants.

My response was this lovely fryup cooked in pork dripping with extra-special hash browns laced with delicious roast pork and crispy cracking. For your information WHO, I am still alive.

dr fry 15

 

Challenging Times

Dr Fry has mixed feelings about the growing trend in competitive eating which has resulted in many eating establishments producing ungainly, high calorie, poor quality ‘challenge’ fryups often including outrageous additional components.

Whilst this might be a valuable marketing tool to develop independent businesses, Dr Fry would like to see this sort of thing properly licensed and regulated to protect the health of fryup enthusiasts as well as driving up quality.

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If you absolutely must make an exhibition of yourself in public then these are apparently five of the best places to go and be a complete glutton, or you could go and spend your £15-£20 on top quality ingredients or a couple of really decent fryups from somewhere that cares about the food they cook and their punters.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/11343260/Feeling-hungry-Britains-biggest-breakfasts.html